I got pushed out of the field and I needed to or I felt like I was going to die. I fully agree with providers trying to be more true to their values and what they market themselves as focusing on. But sometimes that can lead to appeasing the client and becoming self sacrificing. That’s the issue. It’s hard to find a balance between being over or under boundaried in this niche when you’re a ND and disabled clinician yourself. Shout to you and all the clinicians who make it work. I couldn’t do it. 2 years later and I’m still so incredibly sick from working in that system. It was traumatic for me in every way possible. The expectations put on me systemically and the trauma based ones I put on myself weren’t reasonable. I tried to change them but it was too late. My last boss said I wanted to have too many boundaries with clients and that it wasn’t possible in my work. I really hope for collective healing, for ND therapists and their clients. But it’s tough for all involved… it can be so rewarding to work with people who identify and struggle how you do. At other times it can be debilitating..
I hope my piece came across as holding the system to account and not the clinicians trying to make it work in a flailing system! Working toward advocating for a mental health field that does not sacrifice its vulnerable workers at the altar of productivity - I am furious our field lost you and so many others, and thank you for telling me.
Oh for sure. Don’t mind me I’m low masking with energy limiting illness so I don’t have capacity to do tons of perspective taking when I write and I get it can come across like I’m missing perspectives. But I’m not. I just don’t say them xD
What bugs me is a lot of pieces I’ve seen about this topic (not yours) focus on building community for providers. Having to go into those communities, having tons of extra physical + mental health appts on top of it, and trying to manage my outside life made me more sick.
I talk with my coach often about how it’s not autism or PDA friendly to have all of these group based meetings. They are just too much for my system. And then just like being a provider, you’re sitting with other dysregulated nervous systems.
I think it’s why I can barely use a computer screen now. My body just says no. And I accept it.
Thank you for calling out the systems. I just like adding my experience to these posts bc they’re usually geared toward those still practicing. People like me are often forgotten or pushed aside in provider communities bc of hierarchies, and I know there are others like me who left the field and are hurting. I just want our perspectives to be heard too. :)
Thank you for sharing (sincerely - it’s advocacy and aligned with mine) and lol please know I will always attempt to read comments in good faith and that any like “omg did I say that bad” I say is truly worried about there being an error of communication was on my end - I am also a low-masking autistic person who is making a go of writing, and it definitely happens, lol. Team meetings were SO CHALLENGING at times while I was still in an agency setting. I am currently working at a collective that places basically no demands on us for participation but we have support if we need it - it is doable, and the system has to stop acting like it is impossible for disabled workers to thrive in mental health.
That’s great ! Yeah I think it’s really hard to go through the pre licensure process. I’m sure once licensed there are more options for employment that feels feasible. I didn’t make it that far because supervision was rly hard on my PDA. Plus my sensory issues got too severe to be able to sit for the exam without headphones. So I just recognized spiritually it wasn’t meant to be my path. I do feel sad it didn’t work out and agree systemic issues caused it but I also just accept for me, it wasn’t meant to be. And hopefully something else will be. And yay on being low masking!
I got pushed out of the field and I needed to or I felt like I was going to die. I fully agree with providers trying to be more true to their values and what they market themselves as focusing on. But sometimes that can lead to appeasing the client and becoming self sacrificing. That’s the issue. It’s hard to find a balance between being over or under boundaried in this niche when you’re a ND and disabled clinician yourself. Shout to you and all the clinicians who make it work. I couldn’t do it. 2 years later and I’m still so incredibly sick from working in that system. It was traumatic for me in every way possible. The expectations put on me systemically and the trauma based ones I put on myself weren’t reasonable. I tried to change them but it was too late. My last boss said I wanted to have too many boundaries with clients and that it wasn’t possible in my work. I really hope for collective healing, for ND therapists and their clients. But it’s tough for all involved… it can be so rewarding to work with people who identify and struggle how you do. At other times it can be debilitating..
I hope my piece came across as holding the system to account and not the clinicians trying to make it work in a flailing system! Working toward advocating for a mental health field that does not sacrifice its vulnerable workers at the altar of productivity - I am furious our field lost you and so many others, and thank you for telling me.
Oh for sure. Don’t mind me I’m low masking with energy limiting illness so I don’t have capacity to do tons of perspective taking when I write and I get it can come across like I’m missing perspectives. But I’m not. I just don’t say them xD
What bugs me is a lot of pieces I’ve seen about this topic (not yours) focus on building community for providers. Having to go into those communities, having tons of extra physical + mental health appts on top of it, and trying to manage my outside life made me more sick.
I talk with my coach often about how it’s not autism or PDA friendly to have all of these group based meetings. They are just too much for my system. And then just like being a provider, you’re sitting with other dysregulated nervous systems.
I think it’s why I can barely use a computer screen now. My body just says no. And I accept it.
Thank you for calling out the systems. I just like adding my experience to these posts bc they’re usually geared toward those still practicing. People like me are often forgotten or pushed aside in provider communities bc of hierarchies, and I know there are others like me who left the field and are hurting. I just want our perspectives to be heard too. :)
Thank you for sharing (sincerely - it’s advocacy and aligned with mine) and lol please know I will always attempt to read comments in good faith and that any like “omg did I say that bad” I say is truly worried about there being an error of communication was on my end - I am also a low-masking autistic person who is making a go of writing, and it definitely happens, lol. Team meetings were SO CHALLENGING at times while I was still in an agency setting. I am currently working at a collective that places basically no demands on us for participation but we have support if we need it - it is doable, and the system has to stop acting like it is impossible for disabled workers to thrive in mental health.
That’s great ! Yeah I think it’s really hard to go through the pre licensure process. I’m sure once licensed there are more options for employment that feels feasible. I didn’t make it that far because supervision was rly hard on my PDA. Plus my sensory issues got too severe to be able to sit for the exam without headphones. So I just recognized spiritually it wasn’t meant to be my path. I do feel sad it didn’t work out and agree systemic issues caused it but I also just accept for me, it wasn’t meant to be. And hopefully something else will be. And yay on being low masking!